One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband or wife is not money, gifts, or even public affection.

It is an honor.

The way you speak about your spouse, both in public and in private, teaches everyone else how to treat them.

If you constantly belittle your husband in front of your children, do not be surprised when your children begin to disrespect him.

If you continually criticize your wife in front of relatives and friends, do not be surprised when they begin to lose respect for her.

People often follow the example set by the person closest to you.

Your words become permission.

Your attitude becomes instruction.

Your behavior becomes the standard.

Scripture says in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Those words are not limited to strangers. They apply just as powerfully within the walls of our homes.

When a husband consistently speaks with admiration about his wife, his children learn that she is a woman worthy of honor. When a wife speaks respectfully about her husband, she reinforces his place in the family and teaches those around her to value him.

Honor is contagious.

So is dishonor.

Many marriages are weakened long before a major conflict ever occurs. The erosion begins with small comments.

“He never gets anything right.”

“She is always difficult.”

“You know how useless he is.”

“My wife doesn’t understand anything.”

These statements may seem harmless in the moment, but every repeated word chips away at your spouse’s dignity. Worse still, they teach everyone listening how to perceive the person you vowed to love.

Children are especially observant.

You may think they are too young to understand, but they are constantly learning how to respond to both parents. If they repeatedly hear one parent mocked, interrupted, dismissed, or spoken about with contempt, they often imitate that behavior.

Respect is not only taught through instruction.

It is modeled.

The same is true with extended family.

Many in-laws only become comfortable disrespecting a husband or wife because they have watched their own son or daughter do it first. They simply follow the culture that has already been created.

This is why wisdom calls us to guard our speech.

That does not mean pretending your spouse is perfect.

It means refusing to expose their weaknesses for entertainment, gossip, or public sympathy.

There is a difference between seeking wise counsel during genuine marital struggles and making your spouse the subject of constant negative conversation.

One seeks healing.

The other spreads dishonor.

The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.”

Imagine if every conversation about your spouse left people respecting them more instead of less.

Imagine if your children only heard you speak with gratitude, appreciation, and honor about the person you married.

Imagine the security that would create in your home.

Your spouse should never have to wonder whether you are protecting their reputation when they are absent.

Marriage is a covenant.

Part of that covenant is becoming your spouse’s greatest advocate, not their greatest critic.

There will be moments that require correction. Every marriage has them. But correction belongs in private.

Honor belongs everywhere.

So before speaking about your spouse, ask yourself one question:

If they were standing beside me, would these words make them feel protected or exposed?

The answer will reveal whether you are building your marriage or quietly weakening it.

How you carry your spouse is exactly how many people will learn to carry them.

Choose to carry them with honor.

Written by

thefamilystake